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THIS IS EMBARRASSING BUT SHANNON MADE ME. a WIP touya/N fic with porn i guess. it's not even done but whatever... oh yeah and this is unedited so it probably has errors and typos everywhere
Dinner at the table that evening is lively.
With N's return to Unova to come see Touya as well as Touya's recent promotion to the region's Champion, there was much to discuss and catch up on. It was nice to be home and have a small dinner celebration with his mother upon returning, and having N there made it even nicer. Still, even throughout dinner, Touya couldn't help but glance over at N whenever the opportunity would present itself, and would blush lightly whenever N noticed and met his eyes. The way N smiled at him didn't help things, either. There was something so genuine and innocent and honest in N's smile that Touya had never seen before, that made his stomach flutter and his heart thud hard against his chest. He really was in love, wasn't he?
"Wow, so is that what the Hoenn region is like?" Touya's mother continued, her chat with N animated. "Oh, I've always wanted to visit such a vacation-like region! Touya, let's book a trip there for next summer, okay? When I'm off from work?"
"Sure thing, Mom," Touya replied, a little curious about the region himself. He'd always read about the faraway land in books, but seeing it in person must be something else. Overall, his mother was much more excited about the idea, and Touya briefly wondered how she managed to have more energy than even he did sometimes.
"If you do, be sure to visit Dewford Town on a small island," N replied happily, "It's quite beautiful, and the gym leader there is very kind." His eyes then landed on Touya. "Perhaps Reshiram and I will take you there. I'm sure that you would like the beach there, Touya."
Touya blushed and fixed his posture. Going somewhere alone... with N?
"That sounds incredible!" Touya's mother said dreamily. "Do go, Touya! It was your mother's dream to see those places as a young trainer, you know!" She continued to rattle on about how Touya shouldn't go off and see the whole region without her, however, as she hoped to visit with her son come a few months time.
"Y-Yeah," Touya nodded, smiling shyly. "I'll go. That sounds fun."
N returned the smile. "Wonderful. We'll leave in the morning, then. Of course, we'll return before late - you have a duty to protect Unova now, don't you? I won't hinder you."
"That sounds fine. And you won't get in the way, don't even worry about that."
--
"Your mother seemed quite fond of me," N remarked later when they're in Touya's room, sitting at the edge of his bed. It had taken some convincing to even get N in here in the first place - to begin with, he insisted on sleeping outside somewhere with Reshiram, but neither Touya nor his mother would have any of that. N was more than welcome to stay in their nice comfy home with them whenever he liked, and there was no way that they'd be letting him sleep outside as opposed to obvious and better option. As Touya's friend, it'd even be fine for him to stay with him in his room, as opposed to forcing him on a couch. (N couldn't complain about all the Pokemon-related decorations, either.)
"Of course she was," Touya replied, plopping on a Darumaka-shaped beanbag. "Mom's just kind like that. She's friendly and likes everybody, no matter what. But she really enjoyed talking with you, I could tell."
That made enough sense. Touya's mother was a trainer just like he was back in the day, and to meet someone who knew so much about Pokemon was incredible. He could even speak to them, which was certainly more than she could ever say for herself.
"Touya," N began, after a short silence, "why did your mother speak to me as if she knew of me?" Did everyone know of him - what he did - even in a small place like Nuvema Town?
"Well, that's because I told her all about you," Touya said simply, leaning back. "During my journey... She and I, we kept contact a lot. And I always told her about what I was up to. About that mysterious person named N... And even after I found out about you, that you were leading Team Plasma. Come to think of it, we talked about you a lot." A slight laugh.
"Then why did she speak to me so kindly? Why would a person who knew of my affiliation to Team Plasma - who stole and hurt Pokemon from others - regard me highly?" N looked to be genuinely troubled by this.
Touya frowned. Thinking of the way Ghetsis used him, of the low methods Team Plasma used under his approval - it must weigh on N's conscious every single day. Even recalling it made Touya a little sad. He knew that N never wanted that. "Because you're kind. Both me and Mom knew that."
"Am I truly kind, Touya? Is forcing Pokemon into an isolated world without people - a world that they don't want - kind?"
"Yes," Touya said without a moment's hesitation, letting his thoughts spill from his mind that had collected throughout his journey. "It's kind, N. Never once did you selfishly think of yourself, but you only thought of Pokemon. You weren't like the other members of Team Plasma, who just went around and forcefully stole Pokemon away. You wanted Pokemon to be happy in a world where they aren't held back by people, and you wanted to make the transition as gentle and painless as possible. Even if it's true that Pokemon are happiest when they live with people, you did everything for them... Because you really love Pokemon."
"Touya..."
"Even after learning you were Team Plasma's leader, I didn't think you were a bad person. You were really different from the others, I just knew something strange had to be up."
Several emotions reflected through N's eyes for a few moments. Sadness, surprise, relief, happiness. Genuine happiness. And that was when N flashed him one of those special smiles, the one that made Touya's heart leap out of his throat. "Thank you, Touya. Even if the rest of Unova doesn't come to understand my plight, it's relief enough that you have. I couldn't be more grateful."
Touya blushed. "D-Don't mention it," he mumbled, before sitting besides N at the edge of his bed and continuing. "You really are... a nice person. When I was in your castle, I was in your room, and I knew it just then, that you're not... tainted like the rest of us. You don't know anything but kindness. Everything you say, everything you do, you mean it. It's so honest that I don't even understand it myself sometimes. All those things Ghetsis said about you, they're completely wrong. I think you're incredible." Touya then paused. Oh man, he'd said way too much, didn't he? He blushed harder, and covered his face with his hands, looking embarrassed. "U-Uh... I-I meant to say that--"
"Touya," N laughed. "Why do you appear so embarrassed? There's no reason to act shy," he said, gently prying Touya's hands away from his face, "especially when I feel similarly towards you."
The color drained from Touya's face then. "Huh...?"
N smiled again, and ruffled Touya's hair. "Did you forget that I 'chose' you, Touya? Because you are the one that made me begin to question the beliefs that I had stubbornly held onto ever since childhood. You opened my eyes from the ideas planted into my head, and allowed me to peer into the truth. I didn't know a thing about Pokemon until I met you, who knew all about the friends we call Pokemon."
Touya's heart pounded gently against his chest. "T-That's not true. I still have trouble holding conversation with Serperior..."
At that, N genuinely laughed. "That isn't what I mean. You truly caused a huge shift in my feelings."
The way N's words were phrased only served to make Touya's heart pound harder.
"How should I say it? Let's see... When I traveled the Hoenn region, I met several kind trainers just like you and your friends. Truly wonderful people. There was even a boy in particular, who had the same eyes as you. Hoenn would be an ideal place to live at, don't you think so? But there's a problem in that, too. You, Touya - you aren't there. And that was troubling me. It's why I returned to come see you-- Ah, Touya...?"
N wasn't expecting Touya to be turned away like that, but the truth was that Touya was far too flustered to face him. He would likely ask, Touya? Why are you embarrassed? once again if he saw, though he's sure that something as drastic as turning away completely would likely spur the same response anyway. At least a person like N, who was so sheltered from society, may not pick up on the emotion without seeing his face right away. Touya was betting on the possibility.
"N..." Touya started, trying to keep his voice from shaking, to avoid letting his nerves show. He didn't know what the hell he was doing, or what he was saying, but like N, he wanted to speak honestly from his heart, too. N deserved that much. "Have you... ever kissed anybody? Wait, that's ridiculous. There's no way you could have. Or... have you?" Touya really didn't know. Why he was even asking now of all times was utterly beyond him.
The other male blinked. Another unexpected thing that Touya was asking about. Of course, he didn't understand why the subject spurred such strange emotional responses. What made the subject of romantic love something that flustered most people? Was it not another emotion, like happiness or sadness? But even N could admit that there was a certain complexity of it that he wasn't sure he understood. He knew for a fact that he favored Touya far above anybody else in this world, but did that make it love...?
"I have not," N replied honestly. "I have yet to explore emotions that would cause me to do so. However, that isn't to say that they aren't there... Those feelings certainly are complex, aren't they?"
Touya wasn't quite sure how to take that, but he nodded weakly. "Do you... I mean... Would you want to kiss me...?"
"I think," N said, "that you are the only person I would, in fact, kiss."
An exhale of relief left Touya then. He was still nervous, but it was good that N didn't think he was absolutely insane right now. Slowly, he finally turned his head back to glance over at N, who looked more amused than anything. At least someone here was anxious enough for the both of them.
"Is it pleasant, Touya? To kiss?"
"I don't know," Touya admitted, toying with the hem of his jacket. "I've never done it."
"Well then," N started, smiling and leaning in closer towards Touya, who resisted the urge to pull back and say forget it. "Shall we give each other our first kisses, Touya?"
"Don't... don't say it like that," Touya flushed, awkwardly rubbing at the back of his head. "It's embarrassing."
"Ah, my apologies then. I'll be more careful about my wording from now on."
Touya barely registered his words, too preoccupied with steeling his nerves, but nodded anyway. He knew that he would have to take the initiative in this, because he was sure that N knew far less about this sort of thing than even he did, but it didn't make it any less difficult for a first-timer like he was. Why did he think this was a good idea in the first place, again?
Because... I really like him, Touya reminded himself. And he really likes me, too. Even now, waiting for me to make a move, he looks so attractive. Why aren't I kissing him already...?
Finally, his expression softened as he reached over to gently touch the side of N's face. It was surprisingly much easier than he thought it'd be, and touching N so intimately was quite possibly the nicest thing he had ever experienced thus far. "Um, close your eyes."
"Yes," N breathed, and did as he was told. There was no turning back now.
With his free hand, Touya tucked back a tuft of hair behind his ear, before leaning in close towards N, close enough to feel his breath. It was captivating, and took little convincing from that point for Touya to finally seal the deal and press a firm, yet gentle kiss onto N's lips. Immediately, he could feel his heart skip a beat as a moment of disbelief settled in - he was kissing N. More importantly, N was kissing him back. His lips were soft and too difficult to resist, so it was only natural that Touya would remain in place and kiss him yet again, his grip on N's shoulder pulling him in closer. N's hands too slipped around his waist, causing Touya to shiver, and they kissed one more time before pulling back to catch their breath, and maybe even calm their hearts. N was the first to break the silence.
"I understand why kissing is so popular now," N smiled, taking Touya's hand in his own and squeezing it gently. "It was pleasant, was it not?"
Touya flushed and smiled back, returning the light squeeze. "Yeah. I wanna... do it again. Can I?"
"I don't believe that's something you need my permission for, Touya," N said, and leaned in for another kiss. Touya stared.
How is he this cute? How is that even this physically possible?
They kissed more eagerly this time, Touya slipping his arms around N's neck and holding onto him tightly as N's hands were around his waist again, pulling him in closer. Touya could get used to this, just clutching onto N like this. Maybe it was selfish, but he craved more of this, and he boldly licked at N's lips in a silent plead for access into his mouth. Did N even know about this type of kissing? Touya couldn't be too sure, but N responded by mirroring the action. No way he'd stop there. N's arms wrapped around his back as Touya crawled onto N's lap and slipped his tongue into his mouth, kissing N deeply, their tongues sliding along each other's once they grew more and more comfortable with this. It was incredible after the nerves finally wore off, and Touya wasn't sure why he was so scared in the first place.
"Sorry, I'm probably awful at this," Touya admitted breathlessly, his lips inches from N's as he struggled to catch his own breath after. Just when had he begun to straddle N's lap?
"No, you're wonderful," N countered, his breath hot against Touya's skin. "Please, don't stop," he then requested, before leaning upward and kissing Touya once again. Touya responded with no hesitation, tangling his fingers in N's long locks and parting his lips for N to kiss him deeper. He responded to it, and soon enough he felt N's tongue in his mouth. They resumed where they left off.
Neither of the two could state how, exactly, it happened, but minutes later it was N laid back against against the mattress with Touya on top of him, his legs now straddling his waist as N's hand rested at Touya's thigh. It slid up, and Touya couldn't help but let out a whimper at the feeling of N unknowingly groping him. As embarrassing as it was, he was definitely hard now. "N..."
"Touya," N responded, staring up at an incredibly flustered (cute) Touya. "May I kiss you in more places?"
The sound of a pounding heart filled Touya's ears. "Go ahead."
With that, N's lips descended to Touya's jaw, and then down past his neck as he began to unzip Touya's jacket in order to gain better access to his body. The flimsy black t-shirt he wore beneath was much more favorable in this situation, and N's hands were beginning to roam. That, combined with N's lips at his neck, was driving Touya crazy. "N... a-ah..."
N decided then that he was coming to enjoy those cute noises that Touya made. Could something so simple really make him feel so good? Truthfully, N didn't have a clue as to what they were doing anymore, but it felt natural. As long as Touya was pleased, he was pleased, too. His fingers slipped into Touya's shirt, touching the skin beneath as he pressed his lip to Touya's collarbone. Touya squirmed.
"N... wait..."
N pulled back and gazed up at Touya quizzically. "Was that not to your liking?"
Immediately, Touya shook his head. "No, it's not that. I-It was... definitely to my liking. But do you think we're getting carried away?"
"Carried away?" N looked to be legitimately dumbfounded. "I'm afraid I don't understand."
Of course he wouldn't. Being sheltered his entire life, it made sense that N wouldn't be able to differentiate between what might be considered going too far, or not giving enough - Touya was sure that N had never displayed romantic affection for another person before in his life. More importantly, N probably had never even learned about this sort of thing, and thus was going with what felt natural. It's true that he knew lots about math and science, surely more than Touya did, but his education must have been very limited thanks to Ghetsis being set on keeping his mind pure. Common social norms were practically nonexistent to N.
Wait. Did that mean that Touya was the one responsible for teaching him these sorts of things? He wasn't sure how he felt about that...
"Like..." Touya shifted his gaze away and blushed darkly. "... s-sexual."
An eyebrow was raised. "Sexual?"
Oh, no. Oh no no no. Did he really have to teach him this now, of all times? No, he had no choice, if he really wanted to go through with this. He was sure N would be confused on what to do next once their pants were off otherwise.
"Y-You know. When two people really... like each other... they have sex. And stuff." Tripping over his own words wasn't making him very articulate. "Pokemon, um... They do it, too. To make eggs. But people... they work differently. They do it because it feels good with each other. But sometimes they do it to make kids, too. I guess it gets a little complicated from there." God, this was embarrassing.
"I see," N said, as though mentally taking notes on this. "But... what if we make children on accident?"
"That, that won't happen!" Touya blushed so hard he was sure his head was going to explode. "It can't happen with two boys, so don't even worry about that. It only works with a boy and a girl. I'm sure you're more curious about that, but can I just explain it in detail another time?" Giving sex ed lessons was probably the last thing he wanted to do while straddling the object of his affection's lap.
N laughed. "Very well then. Should we stop here, or continue to have sex?"
"Y-You say it way too casually," Touya scolded, embarrassed. "It's supposed to be really special. Reserved for people who seriously love each other."
N reached over and brushed some hair out of Touya's face. "Do you love me, Touya?" he asked.
The question was so simple and direct that it had completely caught Touya off guard. He forced his heart into calming down, nearly forgetting to breathe in exchange. It just figured that N wouldn't find asking such a heavy question very strange...
Still, Touya knew how he felt about N. Admitting it, though? Another story entirely.
"I..." Touya's lips felt dry. He absolutely did not think that he would be admitting his feelings so soon, but when he thought about it, he had really been in love with N for quite some time now. "I-I do. Love you, I mean. I like you so much." Once the secret was out, confessions slipped from his mouth without filtering himself. The way his heart thumped in his chest then was unavoidable.
"That makes me happy," N smiled. "Thank you."
"You're... you're welcome?" Touya stuttered out, unsure of how else to respond.
"As for me, I am nearly certain that I love you as well. However, since most people seem to place heavy weight on such emotions, I wonder if love is an accurate way to put it. How can one tell?"
Touya swallowed dryly. Just hearing that from N was enough for him. "It's okay. I wouldn't expect you to get it right away. But... I think it's just something you know, in your heart. It doesn't have to be complex, like some math equation. It's just there."
"In that case, I'm sure of it. I love you, Touya."
"You listen to me way too easily..."
Regardless of the way Touya had casually dismissed him, he was quite giddy on the inside, reflecting it on his features with a happy smile that matched N's. He didn't even bother resisting the urge to lean down and kiss him, finding the act of affection to be far more intoxicating after being honest about he had felt. Like he wasn't as obligated to hold back anymore. They kissed deeply, tongues sliding against each other's (and hey, they'd gotten a lot less sloppy after all the practice), before Touya pulled back to catch his breath and began to crawl down N's body.
"Y-You know, when we do stuff like this, we don't have to have sex every time," Touya explained, undoing N's belt. "I mean, sex is good too, but there are a lot of different ways we can make each other feel good."
He was beginning to feel used to this sort of thing, strange as it was, and it was making him a little bolder. Even Touya didn't fully understand N's thinking process - or the way he perceived the world - and was sure that he'd have to frequently force himself to spell some things out directly for N to understand them. It was unusual, but for N, he didn't mind it so much. In fact, he was happy to teach N new things, even if they were occasionally embarrassing.
"Will you show me?" N asked, sitting up a little and watching Touya unzip his pants.
"Y-Yeah," Touya flushed at the request. "But I'm nervous, too. I've never ever done anything like this before." He was beginning to feel that being honest with his emotions and explaining why he felt a certain way might help N gain a better understanding towards him.
"I understand," N said, reaching over to reassuringly run his hand through Touya's hair. "There's no need to, if you aren't comfortable."
"Yeah... But I want to."
Finally, Touya slipped a shaky hand into N's pants, fingers lightly trailing over the erection that had been confined in his boxers. So, N was this horny, too... The realization shot a shiver through Touya's spine. "N, you're... you're really hard," Touya blurted out without thinking.
"Hopefully that's a good thing," N managed, body already tensed with pleasure. He had certainly never been touched in such a manner before.
"It's definitely a good thing," Touya reassured him, wrapping his fingers around N's cock and tugging it out of his pants. He tried maybe a little too hard to avoid just staring at it as he slowly stroked it, not having ever seen another person's private part in person before. (And no, "you show me yours I'll show you mine" with Cheren when he was five and completely innocent didn't count.)
Dinner at the table that evening is lively.
With N's return to Unova to come see Touya as well as Touya's recent promotion to the region's Champion, there was much to discuss and catch up on. It was nice to be home and have a small dinner celebration with his mother upon returning, and having N there made it even nicer. Still, even throughout dinner, Touya couldn't help but glance over at N whenever the opportunity would present itself, and would blush lightly whenever N noticed and met his eyes. The way N smiled at him didn't help things, either. There was something so genuine and innocent and honest in N's smile that Touya had never seen before, that made his stomach flutter and his heart thud hard against his chest. He really was in love, wasn't he?
"Wow, so is that what the Hoenn region is like?" Touya's mother continued, her chat with N animated. "Oh, I've always wanted to visit such a vacation-like region! Touya, let's book a trip there for next summer, okay? When I'm off from work?"
"Sure thing, Mom," Touya replied, a little curious about the region himself. He'd always read about the faraway land in books, but seeing it in person must be something else. Overall, his mother was much more excited about the idea, and Touya briefly wondered how she managed to have more energy than even he did sometimes.
"If you do, be sure to visit Dewford Town on a small island," N replied happily, "It's quite beautiful, and the gym leader there is very kind." His eyes then landed on Touya. "Perhaps Reshiram and I will take you there. I'm sure that you would like the beach there, Touya."
Touya blushed and fixed his posture. Going somewhere alone... with N?
"That sounds incredible!" Touya's mother said dreamily. "Do go, Touya! It was your mother's dream to see those places as a young trainer, you know!" She continued to rattle on about how Touya shouldn't go off and see the whole region without her, however, as she hoped to visit with her son come a few months time.
"Y-Yeah," Touya nodded, smiling shyly. "I'll go. That sounds fun."
N returned the smile. "Wonderful. We'll leave in the morning, then. Of course, we'll return before late - you have a duty to protect Unova now, don't you? I won't hinder you."
"That sounds fine. And you won't get in the way, don't even worry about that."
--
"Your mother seemed quite fond of me," N remarked later when they're in Touya's room, sitting at the edge of his bed. It had taken some convincing to even get N in here in the first place - to begin with, he insisted on sleeping outside somewhere with Reshiram, but neither Touya nor his mother would have any of that. N was more than welcome to stay in their nice comfy home with them whenever he liked, and there was no way that they'd be letting him sleep outside as opposed to obvious and better option. As Touya's friend, it'd even be fine for him to stay with him in his room, as opposed to forcing him on a couch. (N couldn't complain about all the Pokemon-related decorations, either.)
"Of course she was," Touya replied, plopping on a Darumaka-shaped beanbag. "Mom's just kind like that. She's friendly and likes everybody, no matter what. But she really enjoyed talking with you, I could tell."
That made enough sense. Touya's mother was a trainer just like he was back in the day, and to meet someone who knew so much about Pokemon was incredible. He could even speak to them, which was certainly more than she could ever say for herself.
"Touya," N began, after a short silence, "why did your mother speak to me as if she knew of me?" Did everyone know of him - what he did - even in a small place like Nuvema Town?
"Well, that's because I told her all about you," Touya said simply, leaning back. "During my journey... She and I, we kept contact a lot. And I always told her about what I was up to. About that mysterious person named N... And even after I found out about you, that you were leading Team Plasma. Come to think of it, we talked about you a lot." A slight laugh.
"Then why did she speak to me so kindly? Why would a person who knew of my affiliation to Team Plasma - who stole and hurt Pokemon from others - regard me highly?" N looked to be genuinely troubled by this.
Touya frowned. Thinking of the way Ghetsis used him, of the low methods Team Plasma used under his approval - it must weigh on N's conscious every single day. Even recalling it made Touya a little sad. He knew that N never wanted that. "Because you're kind. Both me and Mom knew that."
"Am I truly kind, Touya? Is forcing Pokemon into an isolated world without people - a world that they don't want - kind?"
"Yes," Touya said without a moment's hesitation, letting his thoughts spill from his mind that had collected throughout his journey. "It's kind, N. Never once did you selfishly think of yourself, but you only thought of Pokemon. You weren't like the other members of Team Plasma, who just went around and forcefully stole Pokemon away. You wanted Pokemon to be happy in a world where they aren't held back by people, and you wanted to make the transition as gentle and painless as possible. Even if it's true that Pokemon are happiest when they live with people, you did everything for them... Because you really love Pokemon."
"Touya..."
"Even after learning you were Team Plasma's leader, I didn't think you were a bad person. You were really different from the others, I just knew something strange had to be up."
Several emotions reflected through N's eyes for a few moments. Sadness, surprise, relief, happiness. Genuine happiness. And that was when N flashed him one of those special smiles, the one that made Touya's heart leap out of his throat. "Thank you, Touya. Even if the rest of Unova doesn't come to understand my plight, it's relief enough that you have. I couldn't be more grateful."
Touya blushed. "D-Don't mention it," he mumbled, before sitting besides N at the edge of his bed and continuing. "You really are... a nice person. When I was in your castle, I was in your room, and I knew it just then, that you're not... tainted like the rest of us. You don't know anything but kindness. Everything you say, everything you do, you mean it. It's so honest that I don't even understand it myself sometimes. All those things Ghetsis said about you, they're completely wrong. I think you're incredible." Touya then paused. Oh man, he'd said way too much, didn't he? He blushed harder, and covered his face with his hands, looking embarrassed. "U-Uh... I-I meant to say that--"
"Touya," N laughed. "Why do you appear so embarrassed? There's no reason to act shy," he said, gently prying Touya's hands away from his face, "especially when I feel similarly towards you."
The color drained from Touya's face then. "Huh...?"
N smiled again, and ruffled Touya's hair. "Did you forget that I 'chose' you, Touya? Because you are the one that made me begin to question the beliefs that I had stubbornly held onto ever since childhood. You opened my eyes from the ideas planted into my head, and allowed me to peer into the truth. I didn't know a thing about Pokemon until I met you, who knew all about the friends we call Pokemon."
Touya's heart pounded gently against his chest. "T-That's not true. I still have trouble holding conversation with Serperior..."
At that, N genuinely laughed. "That isn't what I mean. You truly caused a huge shift in my feelings."
The way N's words were phrased only served to make Touya's heart pound harder.
"How should I say it? Let's see... When I traveled the Hoenn region, I met several kind trainers just like you and your friends. Truly wonderful people. There was even a boy in particular, who had the same eyes as you. Hoenn would be an ideal place to live at, don't you think so? But there's a problem in that, too. You, Touya - you aren't there. And that was troubling me. It's why I returned to come see you-- Ah, Touya...?"
N wasn't expecting Touya to be turned away like that, but the truth was that Touya was far too flustered to face him. He would likely ask, Touya? Why are you embarrassed? once again if he saw, though he's sure that something as drastic as turning away completely would likely spur the same response anyway. At least a person like N, who was so sheltered from society, may not pick up on the emotion without seeing his face right away. Touya was betting on the possibility.
"N..." Touya started, trying to keep his voice from shaking, to avoid letting his nerves show. He didn't know what the hell he was doing, or what he was saying, but like N, he wanted to speak honestly from his heart, too. N deserved that much. "Have you... ever kissed anybody? Wait, that's ridiculous. There's no way you could have. Or... have you?" Touya really didn't know. Why he was even asking now of all times was utterly beyond him.
The other male blinked. Another unexpected thing that Touya was asking about. Of course, he didn't understand why the subject spurred such strange emotional responses. What made the subject of romantic love something that flustered most people? Was it not another emotion, like happiness or sadness? But even N could admit that there was a certain complexity of it that he wasn't sure he understood. He knew for a fact that he favored Touya far above anybody else in this world, but did that make it love...?
"I have not," N replied honestly. "I have yet to explore emotions that would cause me to do so. However, that isn't to say that they aren't there... Those feelings certainly are complex, aren't they?"
Touya wasn't quite sure how to take that, but he nodded weakly. "Do you... I mean... Would you want to kiss me...?"
"I think," N said, "that you are the only person I would, in fact, kiss."
An exhale of relief left Touya then. He was still nervous, but it was good that N didn't think he was absolutely insane right now. Slowly, he finally turned his head back to glance over at N, who looked more amused than anything. At least someone here was anxious enough for the both of them.
"Is it pleasant, Touya? To kiss?"
"I don't know," Touya admitted, toying with the hem of his jacket. "I've never done it."
"Well then," N started, smiling and leaning in closer towards Touya, who resisted the urge to pull back and say forget it. "Shall we give each other our first kisses, Touya?"
"Don't... don't say it like that," Touya flushed, awkwardly rubbing at the back of his head. "It's embarrassing."
"Ah, my apologies then. I'll be more careful about my wording from now on."
Touya barely registered his words, too preoccupied with steeling his nerves, but nodded anyway. He knew that he would have to take the initiative in this, because he was sure that N knew far less about this sort of thing than even he did, but it didn't make it any less difficult for a first-timer like he was. Why did he think this was a good idea in the first place, again?
Because... I really like him, Touya reminded himself. And he really likes me, too. Even now, waiting for me to make a move, he looks so attractive. Why aren't I kissing him already...?
Finally, his expression softened as he reached over to gently touch the side of N's face. It was surprisingly much easier than he thought it'd be, and touching N so intimately was quite possibly the nicest thing he had ever experienced thus far. "Um, close your eyes."
"Yes," N breathed, and did as he was told. There was no turning back now.
With his free hand, Touya tucked back a tuft of hair behind his ear, before leaning in close towards N, close enough to feel his breath. It was captivating, and took little convincing from that point for Touya to finally seal the deal and press a firm, yet gentle kiss onto N's lips. Immediately, he could feel his heart skip a beat as a moment of disbelief settled in - he was kissing N. More importantly, N was kissing him back. His lips were soft and too difficult to resist, so it was only natural that Touya would remain in place and kiss him yet again, his grip on N's shoulder pulling him in closer. N's hands too slipped around his waist, causing Touya to shiver, and they kissed one more time before pulling back to catch their breath, and maybe even calm their hearts. N was the first to break the silence.
"I understand why kissing is so popular now," N smiled, taking Touya's hand in his own and squeezing it gently. "It was pleasant, was it not?"
Touya flushed and smiled back, returning the light squeeze. "Yeah. I wanna... do it again. Can I?"
"I don't believe that's something you need my permission for, Touya," N said, and leaned in for another kiss. Touya stared.
How is he this cute? How is that even this physically possible?
They kissed more eagerly this time, Touya slipping his arms around N's neck and holding onto him tightly as N's hands were around his waist again, pulling him in closer. Touya could get used to this, just clutching onto N like this. Maybe it was selfish, but he craved more of this, and he boldly licked at N's lips in a silent plead for access into his mouth. Did N even know about this type of kissing? Touya couldn't be too sure, but N responded by mirroring the action. No way he'd stop there. N's arms wrapped around his back as Touya crawled onto N's lap and slipped his tongue into his mouth, kissing N deeply, their tongues sliding along each other's once they grew more and more comfortable with this. It was incredible after the nerves finally wore off, and Touya wasn't sure why he was so scared in the first place.
"Sorry, I'm probably awful at this," Touya admitted breathlessly, his lips inches from N's as he struggled to catch his own breath after. Just when had he begun to straddle N's lap?
"No, you're wonderful," N countered, his breath hot against Touya's skin. "Please, don't stop," he then requested, before leaning upward and kissing Touya once again. Touya responded with no hesitation, tangling his fingers in N's long locks and parting his lips for N to kiss him deeper. He responded to it, and soon enough he felt N's tongue in his mouth. They resumed where they left off.
Neither of the two could state how, exactly, it happened, but minutes later it was N laid back against against the mattress with Touya on top of him, his legs now straddling his waist as N's hand rested at Touya's thigh. It slid up, and Touya couldn't help but let out a whimper at the feeling of N unknowingly groping him. As embarrassing as it was, he was definitely hard now. "N..."
"Touya," N responded, staring up at an incredibly flustered (cute) Touya. "May I kiss you in more places?"
The sound of a pounding heart filled Touya's ears. "Go ahead."
With that, N's lips descended to Touya's jaw, and then down past his neck as he began to unzip Touya's jacket in order to gain better access to his body. The flimsy black t-shirt he wore beneath was much more favorable in this situation, and N's hands were beginning to roam. That, combined with N's lips at his neck, was driving Touya crazy. "N... a-ah..."
N decided then that he was coming to enjoy those cute noises that Touya made. Could something so simple really make him feel so good? Truthfully, N didn't have a clue as to what they were doing anymore, but it felt natural. As long as Touya was pleased, he was pleased, too. His fingers slipped into Touya's shirt, touching the skin beneath as he pressed his lip to Touya's collarbone. Touya squirmed.
"N... wait..."
N pulled back and gazed up at Touya quizzically. "Was that not to your liking?"
Immediately, Touya shook his head. "No, it's not that. I-It was... definitely to my liking. But do you think we're getting carried away?"
"Carried away?" N looked to be legitimately dumbfounded. "I'm afraid I don't understand."
Of course he wouldn't. Being sheltered his entire life, it made sense that N wouldn't be able to differentiate between what might be considered going too far, or not giving enough - Touya was sure that N had never displayed romantic affection for another person before in his life. More importantly, N probably had never even learned about this sort of thing, and thus was going with what felt natural. It's true that he knew lots about math and science, surely more than Touya did, but his education must have been very limited thanks to Ghetsis being set on keeping his mind pure. Common social norms were practically nonexistent to N.
Wait. Did that mean that Touya was the one responsible for teaching him these sorts of things? He wasn't sure how he felt about that...
"Like..." Touya shifted his gaze away and blushed darkly. "... s-sexual."
An eyebrow was raised. "Sexual?"
Oh, no. Oh no no no. Did he really have to teach him this now, of all times? No, he had no choice, if he really wanted to go through with this. He was sure N would be confused on what to do next once their pants were off otherwise.
"Y-You know. When two people really... like each other... they have sex. And stuff." Tripping over his own words wasn't making him very articulate. "Pokemon, um... They do it, too. To make eggs. But people... they work differently. They do it because it feels good with each other. But sometimes they do it to make kids, too. I guess it gets a little complicated from there." God, this was embarrassing.
"I see," N said, as though mentally taking notes on this. "But... what if we make children on accident?"
"That, that won't happen!" Touya blushed so hard he was sure his head was going to explode. "It can't happen with two boys, so don't even worry about that. It only works with a boy and a girl. I'm sure you're more curious about that, but can I just explain it in detail another time?" Giving sex ed lessons was probably the last thing he wanted to do while straddling the object of his affection's lap.
N laughed. "Very well then. Should we stop here, or continue to have sex?"
"Y-You say it way too casually," Touya scolded, embarrassed. "It's supposed to be really special. Reserved for people who seriously love each other."
N reached over and brushed some hair out of Touya's face. "Do you love me, Touya?" he asked.
The question was so simple and direct that it had completely caught Touya off guard. He forced his heart into calming down, nearly forgetting to breathe in exchange. It just figured that N wouldn't find asking such a heavy question very strange...
Still, Touya knew how he felt about N. Admitting it, though? Another story entirely.
"I..." Touya's lips felt dry. He absolutely did not think that he would be admitting his feelings so soon, but when he thought about it, he had really been in love with N for quite some time now. "I-I do. Love you, I mean. I like you so much." Once the secret was out, confessions slipped from his mouth without filtering himself. The way his heart thumped in his chest then was unavoidable.
"That makes me happy," N smiled. "Thank you."
"You're... you're welcome?" Touya stuttered out, unsure of how else to respond.
"As for me, I am nearly certain that I love you as well. However, since most people seem to place heavy weight on such emotions, I wonder if love is an accurate way to put it. How can one tell?"
Touya swallowed dryly. Just hearing that from N was enough for him. "It's okay. I wouldn't expect you to get it right away. But... I think it's just something you know, in your heart. It doesn't have to be complex, like some math equation. It's just there."
"In that case, I'm sure of it. I love you, Touya."
"You listen to me way too easily..."
Regardless of the way Touya had casually dismissed him, he was quite giddy on the inside, reflecting it on his features with a happy smile that matched N's. He didn't even bother resisting the urge to lean down and kiss him, finding the act of affection to be far more intoxicating after being honest about he had felt. Like he wasn't as obligated to hold back anymore. They kissed deeply, tongues sliding against each other's (and hey, they'd gotten a lot less sloppy after all the practice), before Touya pulled back to catch his breath and began to crawl down N's body.
"Y-You know, when we do stuff like this, we don't have to have sex every time," Touya explained, undoing N's belt. "I mean, sex is good too, but there are a lot of different ways we can make each other feel good."
He was beginning to feel used to this sort of thing, strange as it was, and it was making him a little bolder. Even Touya didn't fully understand N's thinking process - or the way he perceived the world - and was sure that he'd have to frequently force himself to spell some things out directly for N to understand them. It was unusual, but for N, he didn't mind it so much. In fact, he was happy to teach N new things, even if they were occasionally embarrassing.
"Will you show me?" N asked, sitting up a little and watching Touya unzip his pants.
"Y-Yeah," Touya flushed at the request. "But I'm nervous, too. I've never ever done anything like this before." He was beginning to feel that being honest with his emotions and explaining why he felt a certain way might help N gain a better understanding towards him.
"I understand," N said, reaching over to reassuringly run his hand through Touya's hair. "There's no need to, if you aren't comfortable."
"Yeah... But I want to."
Finally, Touya slipped a shaky hand into N's pants, fingers lightly trailing over the erection that had been confined in his boxers. So, N was this horny, too... The realization shot a shiver through Touya's spine. "N, you're... you're really hard," Touya blurted out without thinking.
"Hopefully that's a good thing," N managed, body already tensed with pleasure. He had certainly never been touched in such a manner before.
"It's definitely a good thing," Touya reassured him, wrapping his fingers around N's cock and tugging it out of his pants. He tried maybe a little too hard to avoid just staring at it as he slowly stroked it, not having ever seen another person's private part in person before. (And no, "you show me yours I'll show you mine" with Cheren when he was five and completely innocent didn't count.)